ignorning my posts makes your dick smaller
I’m a girl…
see children that’s what happens, you ignore my posts for so long you become a girl
via crazybitch22 (originally canadianslut)
[rich white dad voice] golf
via britainseyebrows (originally internetexplorers)
Okay but
You gotta admit this one looks pretty cool
via conhayth (originally oh-shit-my-sweet-tea)
my mom always texts me rude things so ive just started replying with an emoji of an eggplant and it gets her so pissed it’s great
via sexypotassium (originally spookymormon)
via ismallz (originally dark-shadow-and-night-shade)
via high-on-kittens (originally piglii)
when you find grammatical/spelling errors on important tests at school
via britainseyebrows (originally tino-oxenstierna)
can you kill yourself without making a commitment to death forever
like just die for a year or something
then be like
im back bitches
via britainseyebrows (originally dysphorism)
A news station was interviewing a man who lived near a dangerous intersection. It is known for an inordinate number of car crashes.
HE JUST KIND OF STEPS BACK
“oh see there you go son”
BALLS OF NONCHALANT STEEL
“See, now this is the kinda shit I’m talking about…”
Woah.
via sexypotassium (originally deadmutation)
via high-on-kittens (originally leterrier)
shine bright like a diamond
Diamonds don’t shine, they fucking reflect.
reflect bright like a diamond
you can’t “reflect bright” because reflecting is not the giving out of light and therefore cannot vary the intensity. the light shining on the diamond is what is bright
shine bright like the light that may somewhere be hitting a diamond
via high-on-kittens (originally hornyspice)
via assulia (originally nightmarepoet)
the fuck am i suppose to do with this
i have honestly never laughed so hard in my entire life
via high-on-kittens (originally boutchu)
via high-on-kittens (originally sammyarsebottom)
